But this isn't just about me. If it were, I'd end this post here.
This post is mainly about my mother. What can I say about my mother ..
I love her. That really goes without saying. You may not think so after reading this, but I do.
My mother loves easily. She's generous, adores animals, and genuinely tries to be kind to others. She is a fine, upstanding, individual.
My mother is also quite the trooper. She's had to be most of her life. She's been dealt a pretty crappy hand in a lot of respects. She developed Polio at 18 months, and her last operation, as a result of it, was when she was 15 years old. Around the same time, she quit school to take care of ailing grandparents (I assume that was legal way back when). She was so far behind because of her hospitalizations that I think it was a natural decision for her. At 17, she was traveling in a car with my uncle and his girlfriend. They were involved in a horrific accident where she went through the windshield and, among other things, lost all her teeth. She met my dad when she was 18, married him when she was 19, and, over the ensuing years, popped out 5 babies. When I was in middle school, she and my grandmother were crossing the street and she was hit by a car. She had to learn to walk again. Just after I graduated from high school, she was traveling with her father, her step-mother, and an aunt. A kid (drunk) crossed over into their lane and hit the car head on. Her left arm and left leg exploded... literally. And again she had to learn to walk... again. Needless to say, she doesn't drive, has no desire to drive, and really is leery of being in cars. By the age of 45, she was wearing a hearing aide; now, she's pretty much deaf. In 1991, after 35 years of marriage, my parents separated. They've never divorced.
Those are the things she's had no control over.
The things she does have some control over, to a degree,
She's a diabetic. She suffers from an AV Block (heart blockage), high cholesterol, and high blood pressure. She's barely mobile and suffers from Frozen Shoulder Syndrome. Then there's a host of other small problems. She lives in the same house where I grew up. She lives with my brother, who is a paraplegic and also a diabetic. They've never gotten along well.
The problem is that control is not a word in my mother's vocabulary. She's going to do what she wants to do and the rest of you can jump in a lake. And so she does nothing, except read and watch television, eat fried foods, and drink sweet tea. However, the biggest problem I have with my mom is that she put her life, and happiness, in someone else's hands. She was totally dependant on my father for everything and that failed. She had no skills for which to carve her way in the world. She had disabilities, sure, but there are people, worse off, that overcome and thrive. I can honestly say, my mother hasn't thrived. She has no interest in thriving and a "woe is me" attitude. She's miserable and wallowing in it. And because of all this, I love her, but she makes me absolutely crazy.
At the end of April, my mother developed double vision. As a senior, a diabetic, and in general, I knew this wasn't good. And I wasn't told about it until five days after the onset. I immediately rushed her to the hospital. Thank goodness, it wasn't a stroke. It was Sixth Cranial Nerve Palsy; sometimes a complication of uncontrolled diabetes (seeing a pattern here?). Things only got worse. She was released from the hospital to a rehab facility, to get stronger. The problem now was that now mother needed more assistance than she had before. My brother isn't a possibility because of his own disabilities. So, we (by we, I mean I) started looking into alternative living arrangements for my mother. I wanted her independence for her, but I wanted her safe too.
My mother moved in with me a week ago today.
And I'm not happy.
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